before we left for the party, i put my armwarmers on, and i had to run back upstairs to get my hoodie, so i did, and my dad mumbles 'what's up with the sleeves' my mom heard him and asked him what he said, and he lied by saying he said it to the tv. i hate him. i really do. i guess i can;t wear what makes me feel different,.,cuz i am way different from anyone in my family and i feel violated when someone makes comments about my attire. but i guess i'm gonna get that wherever i go...urhg., i still hate him. i can;'t wait till he moves out, which should be in the next few months...my parents are getting a divorce...long story, ask if u must. well, my mom has to handle everything by herself, so that means i'm losing aol..and not getting another internet service...i'm gonna cry. but what i think i'm gonna do is ask my mom if i payed the bill for all of us, including my brother and her and myself, that if we could keep it...i mean, i make a pile of money, why not put it to good use right now instead of waiting for wrestling school? i still haven't told her i wanna pursue wrestling...it's just the fear of rejection. i'm not going until i graduate high school, maybe take my state board exams, well-just in case the wrestling doesn't work out, and i finish my 4-h years. i have it all planned...now i need to pick a school. i'm looking for one in pa, but if i have to go somewhere else, so be it.

wow, that was deep. for me, it was.

me and my brother stayed up till 1:30 this morning. it was fun. i got most of my cosmetology home work done! haha. i missed the whole mtv show thing..except the end. cuz i was watching disney. and nick. lol.

i woke up at 10:30 today and could already smell the food. woo. i was starving, cuz i hardly ate anything at gina's, and i should've had a sandwhich or something. blah.

so i started cleaning my closet and rearranging it, and it looks really good. i put some stuff in drawers, and gave my mom my other clothes i didnt want. she'll wear whatever i won't. ha. i brought some of my shoes upstairs, but only some cuz most i wear in the barn and yeah.

then we ate around 1:00 and about 2:30 my mom, brother and i went up to my gram W.'s [i can't spell it, it's italian] to give her her lunch and say hey and stuff. then we cashed lottery tix and went to walmart. nothing interesting there so i went to circuit city and bought disturbed's the sickness. and to target to buy chevelle's wonder what's next. then we went home. yay.

ew yuck school tomarrow. prolly won't be an entry, cuz i gotta do my zine, death from above tomarrow. but who know's there might be one. i havent been on all day, that's why it wasn't done and out today. in gym, we're supposed to be starting volleyball...so that'll be interesting.

later. -amber

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